Satire: The CCSSO National Teacher Of The Year Award Goes To.... The Rolling TV Cart!
As it turns out, science rules!
The Council of Chief State School Officers (CCSSO) announced the winner of their coveted 2024 National Teacher Of the Year (NTOY) Award earlier this week. Educators were stunned but the children and parents present were over the moon to see their favorite instructor finally get the recognition it deserved.
Escorted to the stage by an overworked substitute teacher, the Cart, polished until gleaming, lit up the stage. Some say the esteemed educator was too stunned to speak. Others say it couldn’t speak because it was a television. Either way, the sub, happy to be closing out his 15-hour shift doubling as the janitor and night guard, approached the microphone to read the celebrated faculty’s acceptance speech, met with a standing ovation and unison chants of “BILL BILL BILL BILL…”
The winner narrowly edged out the competition of the Cromebook web app version of Tik Tok, Khan Academy, and Mrs. Forrester, a retired teacher from Clark County, Nevada. The award winners are chosen from State-level award winners, sparking some serious controversy, as the Cart won in 48 of 51 states, making detractors weary of conspiracy to throw the race in favor of this year’s winner. This landmark decision points to a change in the prevailing winds of youth education, and will likely affect education styles for years to come.
We caught up with the Cart at the reception following the ceremony to ask what it planned to do next, and it told us here at Mind Salad “I am excited to finally have a good parking spot”, pointing its antenna to a sign in the parking lot labeled “Reserved for CCSSO Teacher Of the Year”
We here at Mind Salad are over the moon to see greatness rewarded. What are your thoughts? Should the award have gone to a human who educates smaller humans? Or was the CCSSO right to embrace the modernity of a VHS-driven educational program?